The Bow of Destiny

Deep POV Tips Part 4: Of Sneaks and Shallow POV

Editing for Deep POV

Editing for Deep POV

Last month I attended a webinar the subject of which was deep third person POV and I then started this series. Part 1 (including links to other deep POV resources),   Part 2 & Part 3 of this series are available if you want to catch-up on the topic. As promised, here are more tips gleaned from the presentation that you may find helpful as I know they will be for me.

Sam: What are you up to? Sneaking off, are we?
Gollum: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat Hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say “sneak!” Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice.
Sam: All right, all right! You just startled me is all. What were you doing?
Gollum: Sneaking.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

There’s often a sneak creeping through writing that hurts deep POV. It’s pervasive and slowly sucks the life, excitement and tension from a book like Gollum with a filched egg.

Gollum: [singing] The rock and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Our only wish,
[he whacks the fish on the rock]
Gollum: to catch a fish,
[another whack]
Gollum: so juicy sweet.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Before you know it, the sneak is stealing all the fish in your writing and singing about it while you go blithely along with the story.

Be careful of the sneak! Don’t let him follow you from that log in the river! Beware lest you find your work rife with all kinds of sneaky, thieving, well you know…

So what’s so sneaky in deep POV and how can it be fixed? Prepositions. But not just any old prepositions, just the sneaky ones. Preposition are necessary except for those that express emotion.

Here are some shallow/deep examples our presenter, Delia Latham, used in her presentation, “Demystifying Deep POV”:

Sneaks in Writing

Sneaky Prepostion Examples

See the sneaks and how they work little bits of mischief in the narrative? Yet in the deeper examples there’s more lively, creative expression.

Have you got sneaks in your writing? Share how you root them out in by leaving a comment.

Please see my Contact page for ways to connect with me and view my News page for information on my current fundraising campaign for The Bow of Destiny on Indiegogo which ends on 9/5. Also read the companion blog serial for The Bow of Destiny entitled “What is Needed“. New links to reviews for The Black Bag have been post on the Store page so check those out if you are interested in a short fantasy read.

I’m always interested in comments so please feel free to leave them below. Also, remember that followers of this blog via email receive a coupon to download my short ebook, The Black Bag, from Smashwords so sign-up today.

Thanks for reading!

PHS

Announcement: Blog Digest

Photo used in The Bow of Destiny book trailer

Photo used in The Bow of Destiny book trailer

Archer’s Aim has been growing recently and with that in mind I have begun plans to offer a digest at least every two weeks. My intent is to  re-cap recent blogs via email as well as add few tidbits of information about me as an author and where my writing is going. I’m also planning to make special offers on the digest to my readers as well as sneak-peeks to my upcoming novel, The Bow of Destiny. If you are interested there are two ways to receive the digest:

1. Sign-up to follow by email from this site

2. Sign-up to follow by email from my Facebook page on the tab.

This will contain links to my top posts so you can easily access what interests you. Check back for news on when I will begin this endeavor – thought it will likely be next month. Show your interest and subscribe today!

I’d also love to connect with you over social media so check my contact page for that information. See the News page for announcements and remember to sign-up to receive news and posts by email. I’ve added a new sign-up tab on my FaceBook page to simplify the process. New followers can download The Black Bag via free coupon today!

Available at Amazon, Smashwords and All Major E-Book Vendors!

Available at Amazon, Smashwords and All Major E-Book Vendors!

Thanks for visiting!

PHS

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Cover-art for The Black Bag licensed through iStockPhoto

Photos licensed through iStockPhoto.

5 “Be’s” for Twitter

Just a quick post this afternoon.

Clip Art Image Copyright by Microsoft. Clip Art Used by Permission of Microsoft

Clip Art Image Copyright by Microsoft. Clip Art Used by Permission of Microsoft

I’m sure these have been written about on someone else’s blog but these are just a few of my thoughts regarding interaction on Twitter.

  1. Be polite – thank people for following and for retweets that affect your product.
  2. Be helpful – seek out ways to help others, the easiest being retweeting.
  3. Be accessible – getting DM spammed? Just block them or unfollow and be open to legitimate messages from others.
  4. Be cordial – follow someone back and answer their DM as best you can (remember, if you don’t follow back but send a DM to a new follower the other person cannot reply).
  5. Be outgoing – Twitter is a very friendly place where even introverts can network or make new friends easily so stop standing on the sidelines waiting to be followed. Go follow someone who clicked Favorite or Retweet on your post or a post you found interesting.

That’s all for now, thanks for reading! Please leave comments below and view my News and Contacts pages. I’m also in the middle of a Indiegogo campaign so please check that out and consider supporting publication of The Bow of Destiny. I’m working on the next episode of the The Bow of Destiny prequel blog serial, What is Needed, so check out that post from Monday too.

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