Tips

Deep POV Tips Part 4: Of Sneaks and Shallow POV

Editing for Deep POV

Editing for Deep POV

Last month I attended a webinar the subject of which was deep third person POV and I then started this series. Part 1 (including links to other deep POV resources),   Part 2 & Part 3 of this series are available if you want to catch-up on the topic. As promised, here are more tips gleaned from the presentation that you may find helpful as I know they will be for me.

Sam: What are you up to? Sneaking off, are we?
Gollum: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat Hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say “sneak!” Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice.
Sam: All right, all right! You just startled me is all. What were you doing?
Gollum: Sneaking.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

There’s often a sneak creeping through writing that hurts deep POV. It’s pervasive and slowly sucks the life, excitement and tension from a book like Gollum with a filched egg.

Gollum: [singing] The rock and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Our only wish,
[he whacks the fish on the rock]
Gollum: to catch a fish,
[another whack]
Gollum: so juicy sweet.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Before you know it, the sneak is stealing all the fish in your writing and singing about it while you go blithely along with the story.

Be careful of the sneak! Don’t let him follow you from that log in the river! Beware lest you find your work rife with all kinds of sneaky, thieving, well you know…

So what’s so sneaky in deep POV and how can it be fixed? Prepositions. But not just any old prepositions, just the sneaky ones. Preposition are necessary except for those that express emotion.

Here are some shallow/deep examples our presenter, Delia Latham, used in her presentation, “Demystifying Deep POV”:

Sneaks in Writing

Sneaky Prepostion Examples

See the sneaks and how they work little bits of mischief in the narrative? Yet in the deeper examples there’s more lively, creative expression.

Have you got sneaks in your writing? Share how you root them out in by leaving a comment.

Please see my Contact page for ways to connect with me and view my News page for information on my current fundraising campaign for The Bow of Destiny on Indiegogo which ends on 9/5. Also read the companion blog serial for The Bow of Destiny entitled “What is Needed“. New links to reviews for The Black Bag have been post on the Store page so check those out if you are interested in a short fantasy read.

I’m always interested in comments so please feel free to leave them below. Also, remember that followers of this blog via email receive a coupon to download my short ebook, The Black Bag, from Smashwords so sign-up today.

Thanks for reading!

PHS

Deep POV Tips Part 3

A few weeks ago I attended a webinar the subject of which was deep third person POV and wrote Part 1  & Part 2 of this series shortly after that time. As promised, here are more tips gleaned from the presentation that you may find helpful as I know they will be for me.

Avoid these types of words: These are divided into two categories and should be avoided as forms of telling rather than showing. With deep POV using these words is inconsistent with the perspective of the character and jars the reader out of their experience with the story’s flow.

1. Narrative words about character activity:

Editing for Deep POV

Editing for Deep POV

Thought

Realized

Wished

Felt

See/Saw

Heard

Knew

Speculated

Questioned

2. Words telling the POV character’s emotional state:

Anger

Fear

Nervousness

Fury

Joy

Shyness

Doubt

Despair

There are many more commonly used words that could be added to these lists. Take time to edit these types of telling out of your deep POV to gain maximum effect from this style of writing. Again, deep POV will eliminate most telling/showing issues from your manuscript since it is like zooming in on the character.

Please see my Contact page for ways to connect with me and view my News page for information on my current fundraising campaign for The Bow of Destiny on Indiegogo which ends on 9/5. Also read the companion blog serial for The Bow of Destiny entitled “What is Needed“. New links to reviews for The Black Bag have been post on the Store page so check those out if you are interested in a short fantasy read.

I’m always interested in comments so please feel free to leave them below. Also, remember that followers of this blog via email receive a coupon to download my short ebook, The Black Bag from Smashwords so sign-up today.

Thanks for reading!

PHS

 

Deep POV Tips Part 2

A few weeks ago I attended a webinar the subject of which was deep third person POV and wrote Part 1 of this series shortly after that time. As promised, here are more tips gleaned from the presentation that you may find helpful you as I know they will for me.

Editing for Deep POV

Editing for Deep POV

The effects of deep POV

  • The reader is inside the POV character’s mind which keeps the reader part of the action as opposed to being an outside observer.
  • Show vs. tell problems are eliminated by deep POV so the reader is closer to the action as a result.
  • Most writers have trouble with passive voice seeping into their writing. With deep POV this passivity is also eliminated in favor of the POV character’s ongoing action.
  • With deep POV the author’s voice intrudes far less and as a consequence brings the reader closer to the character so that they are fascinated with the motivations of even a repugnant antagonist.
  • Deep POV keeps the story moving ahead by being in the present, reducing the need for flashbacks (unless the character experiences such an event from trauma) and also reveals only the details the POV character is experiencing. For instance, the POV character cannot know what events and circumstances are affecting another character unless the POVC are informed in some way.
  • This make the writing tighter so the reader’s attention is more strongly fixed  and energized so the reader’s focus wants to find out what happens next and turns pages.

That’s all I have for today. I’ll write more about what I’m learning concerning this writing technique in upcoming posts. Looking for more resources on the subject? Here are some related links you may find interesting:

The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Akerman.

Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson

Writer’s Guide to Emotion: Fiction Writing Tools by Sherry Soule

Looking for more articles on POV? Check out Janice Hardy’s Fiction University.

Please see my Contact page for ways to connect with me and view my News page for information on my current fundraising campaign for The Bow of Destiny on Indiegogo which ends on 9/5. Also read the companion blog serial for The Bow of Destiny entitled “What is Needed“.

I’m always interested in comments so please feel free to leave them below. Also, remember that followers of this blog via email receive a coupon to download my short ebook, The Black Bag from Smashwords so sign-up today.

Thanks for reading!

PHS