By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

Bleh!

It’s pretty simple, 3.5 readers.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Don’t bring that bag of chips into your house and you won’t eat them.

Hide those cookies and you won’t shove them into your face hole.

And wear a scarf all year round, even in summer, and no vampires will be tempted to turn you into a snack.

Like most humans, we vampires have a tendency to binge and we often eat our feelings.

So don’t forget to hide your neck.

Oh and if scarves aren’t your thing, turtleneck sweaters work just as well.  Bleh!