#31WaystoDefeataVampire – Number 1 – Garlic Farts

Ok, found #1 on the list and had a good laugh! What about garlic hummus or garlic flavored pita chips? There are lots of garlic-laden foods you can eat to ward off such undead pests…

Bookshelf Battle

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

shutterstock_115934440 Count Krakovich hates his fellow vampires. Stop by bookshelfbattle.com all October long for the count’s advice on how to defeat them.


As you have heard 3.5 readers, vampires despise garlic. One bite of the stinky stuff and we are done for.

Why does garlic hurt vampires?

Many reasons.

  • Garlic has long been thought to have healing properties for humans.  Ancient medicine men used it to treat all kinds of diseases and ailments. Hell, you can even buy garlic pills today. I have no idea if it is good for you or not, I’m a vampire, not a doctor. What I do know is as a general rule, if something is good for humans, it is bad for vampires.
  • Long ago, people used garlic as mosquito repellant.  It stinks, so mosquitos, the bloodsucking vampires of the insect world, buzz away from it.
  • Bram Stroker mentioned its use…

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