By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

Bleh!

Well, it only took half a month but I finally got to an obvious one – stakes.

Yes, a stake through the heart will end a vampire’s reign of terror.

Stop being so cocky. A stake through the heart would kill anyone.

But there’s a religious irony. It’s like you took a piece of Christ’s cross and rammed it through a vampire’s still ticker (or heart that used to tick.)

Any piece of wood will do against a vampire.

Do not use formica or cheap ass faux wood.  Vampires survive that all the time.

Steaks as in the meat do not work.  Do not throw a porterhouse at a vampire.  It will accomplish nothing other than wasting a good dinner, bleh.