Love these posts and no, don’t use particle board either!
By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire
Well, it only took half a month but I finally got to an obvious one – stakes.
Yes, a stake through the heart will end a vampire’s reign of terror.
Stop being so cocky. A stake through the heart would kill anyone.
But there’s a religious irony. It’s like you took a piece of Christ’s cross and rammed it through a vampire’s still ticker (or heart that used to tick.)
Any piece of wood will do against a vampire.
Do not use formica or cheap ass faux wood. Vampires survive that all the time.
Steaks as in the meat do not work. Do not throw a porterhouse at a vampire. It will accomplish nothing other than wasting a good dinner, bleh.