#31WaysToDefeataVampire – Way #30 – Fun Sized Candy Bars

So when confronted by a vampire throw down a whole bag of fun size candy bars and run the other way!

Bookshelf Battle

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Bleh!

Don’t you hate it when you think you’re going to get a big ass candy bar but instead you get a teeny tiny candy bar instead?

“Oh it’s fun sized! This pathetic little candy bar is so much fun!”

Bleh, let me tell you, that is some Don Draper Madison Avenue Mad Men Peggy Olsen bullshit right there. “Fun Size” was invented so that candy companies could sell shit tons of candy during the Halloween season and while I haven’t done the math in my vampiric brain, I’m willing to bet that when you buy one of those bags of fun sized candy bars, they’re selling you less chocolate for more money.

Bleh! I’m so angry I’m bleh-ing all over the place. I’m too lazy to do the math. One of you nerds, go analyze the square footage of the average amount of chocolate…

View original post 263 more words

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