Crowdfunding

Indiegogo Anthology Project: Still Waters

Looking for hopeful fantasy? A noblebright fantasy may be just what you’re seeking. Check out this Indiegogo anthology project for “Still Waters” and consider lending your support. The page explains everything.

Deep POV Tips Part 4: Of Sneaks and Shallow POV

Editing for Deep POV

Editing for Deep POV

Last month I attended a webinar the subject of which was deep third person POV and I then started this series. Part 1 (including links to other deep POV resources),   Part 2 & Part 3 of this series are available if you want to catch-up on the topic. As promised, here are more tips gleaned from the presentation that you may find helpful as I know they will be for me.

Sam: What are you up to? Sneaking off, are we?
Gollum: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat Hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say “sneak!” Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice.
Sam: All right, all right! You just startled me is all. What were you doing?
Gollum: Sneaking.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

There’s often a sneak creeping through writing that hurts deep POV. It’s pervasive and slowly sucks the life, excitement and tension from a book like Gollum with a filched egg.

Gollum: [singing] The rock and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Our only wish,
[he whacks the fish on the rock]
Gollum: to catch a fish,
[another whack]
Gollum: so juicy sweet.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Before you know it, the sneak is stealing all the fish in your writing and singing about it while you go blithely along with the story.

Be careful of the sneak! Don’t let him follow you from that log in the river! Beware lest you find your work rife with all kinds of sneaky, thieving, well you know…

So what’s so sneaky in deep POV and how can it be fixed? Prepositions. But not just any old prepositions, just the sneaky ones. Preposition are necessary except for those that express emotion.

Here are some shallow/deep examples our presenter, Delia Latham, used in her presentation, “Demystifying Deep POV”:

Sneaks in Writing

Sneaky Prepostion Examples

See the sneaks and how they work little bits of mischief in the narrative? Yet in the deeper examples there’s more lively, creative expression.

Have you got sneaks in your writing? Share how you root them out in by leaving a comment.

Please see my Contact page for ways to connect with me and view my News page for information on my current fundraising campaign for The Bow of Destiny on Indiegogo which ends on 9/5. Also read the companion blog serial for The Bow of Destiny entitled “What is Needed“. New links to reviews for The Black Bag have been post on the Store page so check those out if you are interested in a short fantasy read.

I’m always interested in comments so please feel free to leave them below. Also, remember that followers of this blog via email receive a coupon to download my short ebook, The Black Bag, from Smashwords so sign-up today.

Thanks for reading!

PHS


BOD FinalAbout the Author

P. H. SolIMG_4154-Editomon lives in the greater Birmingham, AL area where he strongly dislikes yard work and sanding the deck rail. However, he performs these duties to maintain a nice home for his loved ones as well as the family’s German Shepherds. In his spare time, P. H. rides herd as a Computer Whisperer on large computers called servers (harmonica not required). Additionally, he enjoys reading, running, most sports and fantasy football. Having a degree in Anthropology, he also has a wide array of more “serious” interests in addition to working regularly to hone his writing. The Bow of Destiny is his first novel-length title with more soon to come.

To find out more about The Bow of Destiny, click over to one of these online retailers:

Amazon

  BarnesandNoble      Smashwords

ibooksdownload      Kobo

Sign-up to receive my free ebooks today.

freebies

Deep POV Tips Part 2

A few weeks ago I attended a webinar the subject of which was deep third person POV and wrote Part 1 of this series shortly after that time. As promised, here are more tips gleaned from the presentation that you may find helpful you as I know they will for me.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Editing for Deep POV

Editing for Deep POV

The effects of deep POV

  • The reader is inside the POV character’s mind which keeps the reader part of the action as opposed to being an outside observer.
  • Show vs. tell problems are eliminated by deep POV so the reader is closer to the action as a result.
  • Most writers have trouble with passive voice seeping into their writing. With deep POV this passivity is also eliminated in favor of the POV character’s ongoing action.
  • With deep POV the author’s voice intrudes far less and as a consequence brings the reader closer to the character so that they are fascinated with the motivations of even a repugnant antagonist.
  • Deep POV keeps the story moving ahead by being in the present, reducing the need for flashbacks (unless the character experiences such an event from trauma) and also reveals only the details the POV character is experiencing. For instance, the POV character cannot know what events and circumstances are affecting another character unless the POVC are informed in some way.
  • This make the writing tighter so the reader’s attention is more strongly fixed  and energized so the reader’s focus wants to find out what happens next and turns pages.

That’s all I have for today. I’ll write more about what I’m learning concerning this writing technique in upcoming posts. Looking for more resources on the subject? Here are some related links you may find interesting:

The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Akerman.

Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson

Writer’s Guide to Emotion: Fiction Writing Tools by Sherry Soule

Looking for more articles on POV? Check out Janice Hardy’s Fiction University.

 


BOD FinalTo find out more about The Bow of Destiny, click over to one of these online retailers:

Amazon

  BarnesandNoble      Smashwords

ibooksdownload      Kobo

IMG_4154-EditAbout the Author

P. H. Solomon lives in the greater Birmingham, AL area where he strongly dislikes yard work and sanding the deck rail. However, he performs these duties to maintain a nice home for his loved ones as well as the family’s German Shepherds. In his spare time, P. H. rides herd as a Computer Whisperer on large computers called servers (harmonica not required). Additionally, he enjoys reading, running, most sports and fantasy football. Having a degree in Anthropology, he also has a wide array of more “serious” interests in addition to working regularly to hone his writing. The Bow of Destiny is his first novel-length title with more soon to come.

Sign-up to receive my free ebooks today.

freebies