Holidays

10 More Ways to Survive a Monstrous Halloween Encounter

Halloween can be a tough time of year. After all, you have to go out at night when all the monsters really get out. You could run into nearly anything at this time of year – and it gets dark early! Want to go for that evening run? You better be prepared for anything from the menacing neighborhood dog to – gulp – a werewolf. Here are some thoughts on how to survive an encounter with a werewolf and maybe even make a friend.

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Be prepared for this possible encounter in several ways. First, remember that a wolf wants to chase something so don’t run – and certainly don’t scream since both reactions will just get this monster’s prey instinct going.

2. The next way to be prepared is to go out with some dog treats. This is a great way to make friends with a menacing dog – right? Just think of a werewolf as merely a troublesome dog – just one that needs a bit of special handling.

3. Remember, a werewolf is a person too – just confused by the sudden change into a dog. Wouldn’t you be? So do what you should with a dog and calmly take charge of the situation. Toss some treats to the werewolf while using some reassuring words in a calm, firm voice all in an effort to gain its trust.

4. Really take control by getting some training done without hesitation. Think you can’t? Many dogs will learn to sit rather quickly and this is a person inside a wolf’s body so they should pick up commands rather quickly. To do sit, show the treat and then, while saying, “sit”, move the treat over the werewolf’s head. I know these are big but they slouch and much like a dog, they should sit when interested in the treat. Remember to give the treat palm up.

5. You really don’t want to get bit by a werewolf because, well, you don’t want to be one. To discourage mouthing and snapping like a dog teach this monster the “leave it” command. This means pulling back you hand and saying the words, “Leave it.” This should work since you’ve already gained a certain amount of trust.

Just an aside here, but you can try escaping anyway but you may need some help!

6. Need to get this big beast under further control? Teach it the “down” command. From a sitting position and a treat in your hand, say, “Down,” as you lower your hand between its forepaws. The werewolf will be so interested in the treat it will go down. Repeat a few times to reinforce these commands (get the werewolf up by using the word and raising a treat over it’s head).

7. If you think this might become a monthly issue make sure to keep a big chew-bone handy for full moons.

8. Also, if you find that your werewolf wants to jump up on you – and many dogs do – simply turn away without saying a word so that it learns it will get no attention whatsoever from you. It will learn that the behavior isn’t acceptable.

9. If this is a recurring issue and you find that said werewolf is having a tough time with good behavior, try to talk about what’s really going on with a dog behaviorist. Seriously, these trainers can do a lot of dogs, why not werewolves?

10. Last thought, if the werewolf sleeps on your porch or in your garage take care how you treat the person in the morning. Leave them a change of clothes nearby so they can get dressed and offer them a good breakfast. After all, they’ve been a wolf all night and that can be a little disconcerting as well as embarrassing. Oh, and don’t offer them food like it’s a treat and certainly don’t use commands on them – that’s just awkward.

At this point, you’ve hopefully made a friend out of both wolf and human. After all, dogs are man’s best friend, why can’t werewolves be included too?

If your good with dogs, what’s your best tip for handling a werewolf? What do you think would be a favored treat by a werewolf? Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section.

About the Author

P. H. Solomon lives in the greater Birmingham, AL area where he strongly dislikes yard work and sanding the deck rail. However, he performs these duties to maintain a nice home for his loved ones as well as the family’s German Shepherds. In his spare time, P. H. rides herd as a Computer Whisperer on large computers called servers (harmonica not required). Additionally, he enjoys reading, running, most sports and fantasy football. Having a degree in Anthropology, he also has a wide array of more “serious” interests in addition to working regularly to hone his writing. The Bow of Destiny is his first novel-length title with more soon to come.

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4 Ways to Survive a Monstrous Halloween Encounter

Halloween can be a tough time of year with all the monsters, ghouls and goblins out. How do you survive an encounter with one of these creatures of the night? Here are a few tips to handle yourself so you can survive the night and live to tell about it. Let’s tackle one of the common denizens of the night – Vampires.

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1. This is admittedly gross, but save some blood from chicken or other meat and carry it in a well-sealed sandwich bag. Why? Well, vampires are out for blood – literally – and since they’ve been taking a dirt-nap for who knows how long they can be rather “hangry”. Offer them a little “harmless” snack and you may get to the next tip…

2. Since vampires are not mindless, once you get past that “hangry” edge you can start talking. Many of these vampires have been around the block so a little polite negotiation might be better than a confrontation you likely can’t win. Start by letting them know that it’s just wrong to look at people as food. Offer some high SPF sun block so they can get out a little more. And while your at it, offer them regular rides to the blood bank

3. Negotiations may not go well so stay prepared. Invest in a spear-gun with which you can use – you guessed it – a wooden spear to end the threat. This is a one-shot deal so try negotiations first and remember to make that shot count if all else fails. Think close – I mean very close – range if you must use it. If you go with this or any other weapon, make sure you know what your doing. This guy is well-prepared to fight off most anything due to all this amazing practice:

Come to think of it, you may want him along!

4. However, if the negotiations go well, you might consider further steps to help your new-found “friend”. Work as an advocate for this class of the undead by helping them start a support group in your community. Write your member of Congress, urging them to fund more research into curing vampirism. I could see some break-through on this that leads to treatments like Suboxone. Hmmm, come to think of it, Congress may not be the right step since they already suck the life-blood out of us with taxes.

So there you go with some outside the box thinking on dealing with a menacing Halloween creature. What are your best tactics? How would you stop a hungry vampire – or tax-happy member of Congress? Here’s to a happy – and vampire-free – Halloween! And remember, this is all tongue in cheek conversation…

Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section.

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One Day I Almost Died

One normal day about forty years ago, I was walking home from a friend’s house. I was in front of the next door neighbor’s house minding my own business. Suddenly, I was surrounded by at least 8-10 snarling dogs.

I froze.

I was about 9 at the time.

The dogs had been running in a pack in the area at times. There were even reports these dogs – neighborhood dogs that had become aggressive – had mauled puppies. Looking at their snarling faces I had no doubt these dogs were the culprits.

They were taking a step up to me at that very moment.

I thought I might kick the smallest and leap either into a small tree or get my back to a huge poplar tree just to have a chance.

But then someone started bellowing. I looked up and there was my father, running at full-tilt toward these dogs, waving his arms. Confused, the dogs scattered and I was safe. If my dad had not seen me, I most likely would have been mauled that day. It was the day my father likely saved my life. He explained that yelling and charging a dog confused them. It’s a trick I’ve used several times since to back aggressive dogs down.

My father passed away about 8 years ago and it has been an event mostly forgotten in the family since that time. But since it’s Father’s Day, I was thinking about him and what he did for me that day and so many days of my life. Without my father’s actions that day long ago, I would not be here. My daughter would not have been born. I wouldn’t have achieved many of the things I’ve done like writing books or helping a few people along the way. Dad did a lot more for me over the years, too many to re-count here but I remember the day he literally saved my life. So many thanks to my father and all those who put in a good effort day after day for their families through thick and thin.